Natalie's Notebook

[natalie]

Oct 22, 2016 6:02:26 GMT natalie said:

I’d like to think I’m safe with him. I mean, I don’t wanna jinx myself, because we’re at the point in the game where the options are limited and I COULD potentially go up, but I’ve made a pretty solid connection with Mad Luna. He’s opened up to me a lot, and that might just save my ass this week.

Well, this is kind of embarrassing. 

Dear diary, 

I’m up on the block. Mad Luna finally decided to stop throwing competitions. Either Jun or I go home this round, and I’m really, really bummed about it. 

As of right now, I think I might have the votes to stay. Kalia seems interested in keeping me over Jun, Tiffany can’t seem to fucking stand Jun anymore, and with Jun being Mad Luna’s target, I would think he’d keep me in the event of a tiebreaker. However, I think after this week it’s probably for the best that I stop making assumptions about Mad Luna. We’re approaching the endgame, so my ~great conversations~ with him aren’t really gonna get me much further here. If I happen to stay and win HOH next round, I need to unleash everything I have in me and ensure that he goes home. I honestly think he’s the biggest threat in the game right now, even besides Kalia, and the fact that he seems pretty well set up with Tiffany and Jee terrifies me. 

My campaign strategy right now is to pretty much just point out the facts. Jun is a bigger threat than I am moving forward, and the chances of any of the people that would consider keeping her over me winning next to her in the end are pretty slim to none. She’s been good at challenges, she’s had a killer social game, and has been a cutthroat queen that would make an incredible winner. I would say the chances of her winning HOH next week and exacting revenge on everyone are pretty high, whereas I’ve been pretty consistent in being terrible at competitions. Jee might be correct when he tells me that he’s gonna need to win HOH next week to avoid the block regardless of who goes home, but in my opinion, it’s important for him to consider who has a higher chance at beating him in next week’s HOH competition. 

This just blows. I really don’t want to be campaigning against Jun, but it’s kind of every woman for herself right now. I expected the alliance I had with me, her, and Kalia to crumble no matter how loyal we ended up being to each other, but the fact that it’s actually happening now is just disheartening. She’s been one of my favorite parts of the game, and if I happen to go instead of her, I need her and Kalia to fuck things up for everyone. 

If I happen to stay, it looks like it’s pretty much me, Kalia, and Meg vs. Mad Luna, Jee, and Tiffany. I still don’t think I stand a chance against Kalia in the end, but I also know that she’s not about to put me up when there’s three other people pretty aggressively against her. Knowing who I can win against is important, but having the opportunity to even make it to the end to begin with is pretty vital too. 

XOXO,
Natalie 

[natalie]

ROUND 10 

Dear diary,

FINALLY.

F I N A L L Y.

It’s about goddamn time that I won a competition. I’ve been waiting for this all season, and this win couldn’t have come at a better time. If Tiffany or Jee had won, I know for a fact that my ass would have been on the block at some point this week, and I can thankfully say that I am 100% guaranteed safety until Final 5.

As far as nominations go, Kalia and Meg are safe with me this week. I need one of them (most likely Kalia, lbr) to win HOH next week when I’m not able to play, and I’m pretty sure nominating them would jeopardize that. Plus, my main target for the week is Mad Luna, and ideally, I’d like to see him go this week. I’d say the chances of that happening if he’s next to Tiffany or Jee by the end of the week are pretty high.

I really need to win this POV. Mad Luna has shown to be great at competitions lately, and the last thing I need is for him to end up staying this week. It’s crunch time.


XOXO, 
Natalie

[natalie]

Dear diary,

Ugh. Fuck. This is the exact opposite of what I wanted. I have a gut feeling Tiffany is gonna use the veto on either Jee or Mad Luna, and if she does that, I'm gonna be forced to put Meg up and most likely watch her go home. An ally going out during my HOH is seriously the worst case scenario, and it's even more frustrating knowing how embarrassing my score was in comparison to everyone else's. 

XOXO,
Natalie

[natalie]

Dear diary,

Tiffany used the veto on Jee, and the chances of Meg going home are pretty high. Tiffany keeps saying that she’s gonna keep her options open and not “close the door” on evicting Mad Luna, but I don’t buy it. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and while I don’t necessarily fault her for it, I’m still frustrated that my HOH was this much of a disaster. A newly made ally is going to go home while I’m in power, and that fucking sucks.

My safety in the game next week entirely depends on Kalia. I mean, it did regardless of whether or not Meg went up, but now Kalia’s most likely gonna be competing against three people next week. I’m not even guaranteed safety depending on the circumstances, because if Kalia was to nominate Mad Luna and Jee, and Tiffany was randomly able to pull through and win veto again, I’d go up and go home. 

I need to work on Tiffany and Jee as much as I can to see if they're willing to vote Mad Luna. It’s a long shot, but it’s all I’ve got at the moment.

XOXO,
Natalie

[natalie]

ROUND 11

Dear diary,

Well, that didn’t work. 

Tiffany and Jee ended up voting to evict Meg, and while I get why they did it, I’m still really frustrated with how everything is playing out. I’m feeling kind of discouraged at the moment. My HOH was pretty much ruined, I can tell that I’m Mad Luna’s target this week, and it’s looking like my time in this game might be running out. 

I’m trying my best to remain positive, because there’s a CHANCE that either me or Kalia can win veto this week and vote either Tiffany or Jee out, but it’s just so difficult. I’ve reached the point where I’m feeling kind of resentful towards everyone that isn’t Kalia. Rationally, I don’t have any reason to be mad at anyone. Tiffany and Jee were smart enough to see that voting Meg out let them hide behind Mad Luna for an extra week, and I can’t exactly be mad at Mad Luna for staying. I think I’m just angry at the fact that the one time I was actually able to win something, I didn’t even manage to accomplish anything. I feel like a dumbass for putting Jee up over Tiffany, even if there was no way for me to know that Tiffany would choose last week as the time to finally win something.

But, it’s time to stop moping. This week has a lot of promise under certain circumstances. Prior to Mad Luna winning HOH, Kalia made a deal with Mad Luna to not put him up this week. While she did that, I tried telling Jee that sending me home this week with Mad Luna and Kalia still in the game would be a mistake, because in terms of competition wins and general gameplay, both Jee and Tiffany would have a higher chance of beating me than either Mad Luna or Kalia. By Kalia and I making these deals, we increased our chances of at least one of us avoiding the block this week, and with us not being forced to be next to each other, we were given the opportunity to potentially take each other off the block. If Kalia wins POV this week, she can take me off and we can vote one half of the Tiffany/Jee pair out. If I win POV, I can take myself off the block, and hope that by some miracle Kalia’s deal with Mad Luna is enough to keep her around. Even if she can’t, Kalia getting evicted means I have less competition for next week’s HOH, as sad as I would be to watch her leave. Realistically, I could be okay this week as long as Mad Luna doesn’t win this veto. 

I just need to try my best. The chances of me making it to the end, or even winning if I do, might be somewhat slim, but I’m not about to sit back and die. I’ve had too much of a journey listening to Tiffany whine about anything and everything (she really had the nerve to come to me and mention that Mad Luna didn’t give her a heads up that she was going on the block) to go out now.

XOXO, 
Natalie

[natalie]

OHHHH MY GOD LITERALLY WHY AM I INCAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING CORRECTLY IN COMPETITIONS

JESUS CHRIST

I'm fine. 

[natalie]

Dear diary,

So, I might not be totally screwed? Kalia's deal with Mad Luna was apparently enough for him to consider not putting her up even as the replacement nominee. With Tiffany off the block, he's heavily considering putting Jee up, and it seems like Tiffany is actually leaning towards keeping me if that's the case? Even if Mad Luna was to completely blindside Kalia but putting her up, I don't think Tiffany would keep her over me. I think I'm good to go regardless of what decision Mad Luna makes, and that's a weird mix of comforting and a bit stressful when I start thinking longterm.

I can tell that I've made a full transition into these peoples' goats. Like, outside of Mad Luna wanting me out, Kalia and Tiffany both want me in the end with them because they like me and know they can beat me. I'm using that to my advantage right now, but when it comes down to it, the fact that I'm appealing to take to the end might actually hurt me if I do manage to make it there. I really have to sell myself a certain way, and that's gonna be difficult. 

For now, I'm just gonna try to focus on the positives. I have a really good shot at staying this week, I just need to make sure I stay on Tiffany's ass about keeping me and potentially butter Mad Luna up in hopes that he'll reconsider his position and keep me on the off chance that there's a tiebreaker. It might look like I'm in the clear right now, but there's still a lot that could go wrong, and I'm not about to start being complacent just because I can sense that these people wanna drag me to the end by my ponytail. 

XOXO, 
Natalie 

[natalie]

[natalie]

ROUND 12 

Dear diary,

Long time, no talk!

Let’s do a bit of catching up. I survived my eviction, Jee ended up going home, Tiffany continued to make questionable decisions for herself, and I pulled through and won my second competition! Taking notes and making sure said notes include competition pictures goes a long way when it comes to memory competitions. Who knew! 

To no one’s surprise, I ended up nominating Tiffany and Mad Luna. Also to no one’s surprise, Mad Luna ended up winning veto, because he’s part robot. I’m pretty sure it took me thirty minutes just to get past the hunting part of the competition, so the fact that he was able to get that score OVERALL is insane. 

With Tiffany and Kalia now on the block, I imagine it’s going to be Kalia going home. She’s Mad Luna’s biggest competition moving forward, and I’d be genuinely shocked if he didn’t see it that way. That being said, she was able to keep herself off the block during his last HOH reign, so who knows. The bond those two have might be enough to reserve Kalia a spot in the Final 3 with me. 

If Kalia gets evicted tonight, then I do think I have a higher chance at guaranteeing myself a spot in the Final 2 and potentially taking it all home. Mad Luna’s good at competitions, but as long as I’m able to win one of the first two parts, I think I could beat him in the last part of the Final HOH. Having an idea of where the jury’s head is at is something I could see myself doing well at, and I think if I go in with that confidence, I might just have a shot. 

XOXO,

Natalie

[natalie]

Nov 7, 2016 23:55:10 GMT @Mad Luna said:

 I'm going to go with my heart on this decision and stay true to something I've been true to this whole time.

Do you ever just have the sudden realization that there's a very high chance you've been getting played? 

[natalie]

I made the mistake of underestimating Kalia and Mad Luna’s relationship, and now Kalia has an even stronger chance at winning in the end if it’s true about her and Mad Luna working together for this long. I feel like an idiot. This is all shit I should have tried handling earlier, and instead of focusing on BOTH Kalia and Mad Luna as the main threats of the game, I’ve only been focusing on Mad Luna. Now I’m in Final 3 with both of them dark horsing it up. 

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think my ass needs to be sitting next to Mad Luna in the end if I have any shot at winning. Kalia’s game has been much stronger than both of ours, and while beating Mad Luna will be no easy task, I think I can pull it off if I angle all of this correctly. It’s all about making it to the end…which is gonna be pretty fucking hard when I’m up against two of the game’s biggest competitive threats.

[natalie]

I can't @ the jury being more talkative now than they ever were in the game.